The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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