Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
