it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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