I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
