ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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