Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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