Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
