Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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