I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
