Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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