Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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