Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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