She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
