He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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