Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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