Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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