Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
