I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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