Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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