ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
