Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
