Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
