talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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