Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
