Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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