Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
