Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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