he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
