She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize