I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
