i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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