Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
