What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch