I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize