capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
