went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
