Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
