every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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