How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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