every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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