That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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