I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
