I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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