tell your sister to shave her snatch
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
