I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Watching her eat just hurts me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
