possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
