You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
