how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
