She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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