Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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