i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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