I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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