JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
