My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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