I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
