maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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