Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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