can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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