How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize