I'm pants shitting drunk right now
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
