Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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